Forgiveness
by GeorgeAndrews
Summary: Doctor Sid Hammerback meets someone unexpected in the very last place he thought he would. My response to my own 'A Room with Two Characters' Challenge.


A/N - This is my response to my own 'A Room with Two Characters' Challenge. Prompts are at the end. **  
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Doctor Sid Hammerback smiled pleasantly at the lady before him as he accepted his ticket in line and then moved off down the corridor to wait for the results. It was clinical place. White and bland and gleaming as though every speck of dust was nothing more than a distant memory from a time that never really existed. Sid suspected that not even his CSI friends would be able to discover any tiny bit of trace on these walls, had they been looking for it. But they weren't. They were all busy progressing in their lives while he waited patiently and alone for what might be the most damning result of all. Sid sighed as he walked past the blank and nameless faces, blurred figures that he took no notice of while they in return returned the favour. He didn't know them. He didn't want to. And he never would. This was something he had to do alone, as every man would and he'd gladly take this moment of peace to reflect on what had passed, without the interruption of a stranger's jibber jabber.

"Sid? Sid Hammerback?"

Sid flinched at the words.

"Doc Hammerback is that really you?"

Sid paused momentarily in his steps and brushed a hand down the front of his crisp white shirt. It wasn't smooth, in fact it felt particularly coarse against his fragile skin.

"Doc?"

Ignoring the voice Sid moved off again down the corridor, a deep smell coming to his nostrils and one he was oh so familiar with. Disinfectant. This sterile, unfriendly place was just that, doused in a spray that kept it clean, that kept it hygienic and removed all trace of those who passed through its halls.

"Hey, Doc? Didn't you hear me? It's me!"

Sid didn't hurry his pace, he knew there was nowhere to go to even if he did. This corridor would simply carry on, on and on until he found a seat. But it was crowded and Sid knew he'd have to walk far to find a place to rest and wait.

"It's me, Doc. It's me Marty!"

Sid almost tripped to a stop and his wrinkled eyes closed. He'd known that voice oh too well the moment he had heard it. But he didn't want this. It wasn't right. Not for a man like him, wasted away and repentant of all wrongdoing. No, that voice brought back to him the very worst of his being and this was neither the time nor the place to set the world to rights with the owner.

A hand grasping his wrist brought him back to his own reality and he jumped, sickened by the touch of dirt. For this man was dirt.

"It's me Marty Pino, don't you remember me, Doc?"

Sid swallowed the hot acid that burnt up his throat. It felt as if a fire was raging in his gut, reignited from the embers of bitterness that had been cindering away in there for so long.

"How could I ever forget you, Marty?"

His voice sounded cold and clear. Far too clear for what he was feeling. Inside a whirlwind rage of fire and emotion, outside a calm and collected man of little words.

"Doc, I thought... I thought..."

Sid turned swiftly and Marty's hand fell free of his arm. Slowly Sid raised his eyes to focus in on the face of one who was not a nemesis but an opposition anyway.

Good Lord in Heaven above.

The man was a wreck. Wasted away and skeletal, his emaciated face sharp and eyes protruding in an ungodly manner. He was revolting.

"Marty," Sid coughed though the action was unnecessary. His voice and throat felt clear despite the previous bile.

"Doc, it really is you then?"

"Of course. Have I changed that much?"

"No. No not a bit. You're just how I remember you."

"Ironic, considering the cancer that has ravaged my body."

A look of shock. Sickness. Disbelief. Incomprehension. Searching for a conclusion. Doubt.

"What?"

"Cancer. I had cancer. Spread through me like oil soaking into bread."

"Shit. Doc...I... I... I'm so sorry, I..."

The sentence was deliberately left unfinished.

"No you're not. You're sorry for yourself. That you couldn't be there. That you weren't there, as a friend and colleague to support me when I was sick."

Anger. Denial. Sid knew he'd pissed off the other.

"Doc, how can you say that? Of course I'm sorry for you. Cancer... I mean...shit, that's bad."

"It was. It's almost over now though so no matter."

Marty looked away, obviously saddened by the news of Sid's disease but still annoyed somewhat by the unfriendly response he was receiving from his old mentor.

"So why are you here, Marty?"

Sid's eyes narrowed in suspicion. Last he'd heard Marty was in jail for numerous counts of murder, supplying heroine, smuggling drugs and much more than that.

"Same as you."

Marty didn't look at Sid and his avoidance of eye contact didn't go unnoticed by the older and wiser man.

"Waiting for judgement, eh? Sid cackled, finding amusement in their situation.

"For forgiveness," Marty replied earnestly.

Sid snorted and finally turned to fall into an empty chair. All around them figures milled up and down the corridor, grey shapes and shadows moving slowly, each as tired and lifeless as he felt himself. These people had all given up on life. Empty shells moving along the space and Sid suddenly felt terribly alone. Alone except for a man he had come to hate.

"You'll find no forgiveness here," he eventually replied after watching the blank faces for a minute or two.

Once more Sid raised his grey eyes to the face of the man he never wished to look at again. Marty was shocked. It was all too apparent that the younger man had hoped to find forgiveness from him and yet he knew he had none to give him. Only anger. Marty had chosen the life of a murderer, had been responsible for his wife's death and Sid knew he would never forgive him.

"Forgive me, Doc, please? Please Doc... I need you to forgive me..." Marty's heart bled out before the older man.

"I can't, Marty. Not for what you did. The worst crimes imaginable. Your wife... she's dead and gone before the both of us... because of you."

"I never meant to hurt her. I never did. I never..."

Salty tears streaked down his emaciated face, running along the sharp crevices of his bones. Sid watched them flow and felt nothing but anger.

"You're a murderer, Marty," Sid spat bitterly and angrily. "A MURDERDER!"

His hand clenched into the grey plastic of the armrest and the pressure made him grimace in pain. He wrenched the hand away and stood on shaking legs, towering over the wretched man before him.

"No...God, no...I'm not...I'm not..." Marty sobbed, a pathetic criminal and man receiving his judgement before his god.

"Yes you are. And what's more... you don't see it. You still don't understand how wrong the choices you made were."

Sid heard his voice as if from a distance. An out of body experience he supposed you would call it. It was crisp and clear and so loud it bellowed up and down the corridor and yet none of the others took the slightest bit of notice. This wasn't about them. It wasn't about anyone except the two men embroiled in it.

"I do... I understand, Doc, I really do. I chose the wrong path, I did it wrong and you're right... you are... because of me my beautiful wife died."

"And so many other innocent people too. Some that haven't even been born yet. Babies already addicted in the womb due to their mother's curse for a drug."

"That's not my fault..." Marty wheezed. "I didn't force anyone... I didn't make them take it..."

"But you supplied it!" Sid bellowed, a light flashing in his eyes that suddenly made him almost frightening. "You gave it to them, you made it accessible."

"I was just trying to survive..."

"You were selfish!" Sid spat, showering the huddled man on the floor in a spray of spittle and venom.

"No..." the younger man wailed.

Sid stepped back and stared at the sight before him. Anger pierced into his heart and in that moment he felt no forgiveness. There was nothing he could offer to this poor and godforsaken man before him.

"Until you see it, see the truth that is so clearly set out before you... I can never offer my forgiveness," Sid said. He spoke softly and calmly despite the never ceasing fire of anger burning inside him.

"Please..." came the whisper of horror in reply.

"What you seek is forgiveness from yourself, Marty," Sid murmured. "I cannot help you with that."

"But how?" sobbed the snivelling wretch. "How do I do that?"

Sid felt his lips pursed tight together in disgust and relaxed them. He had no sorrow for Marty, only anger and resentment for so many lives being taken at his hand. He knew he could never offer forgiveness, but advice was something he had grown used to dolling out.

"I killed a man too, Marty," he said quietly, watching as Marty looked up wide-eyed and starring. "It only ever happened once. That fateful day back in 2001."

"W..w...what?" stammered Marty.

"Two victims were brought in together. A young mother, her daughter at her side as healthy and alive as the mother was dying. The other was a firefighter who had risked his life saving the child. Both were in critical condition."

"What...what did you do?" Marty croaked.

Sid swallowed, a flash of memory coming to his mind but only for an instant.

"I chose. I chose which one to save, ultimately condemning the other to death," he replied solemnly.

"Which?"

"The mother. I couldn't let that little girl live on without her mother there to protect her and guide her through life."

"So the firefighter died?"

"There wasn't enough time to save the both of them. Later I learnt he had a family too, a family that would now have to live on without a father and husband at their side," Sid replied regretfully.

"But it wasn't your fault, you did the best you could!" Marty cried back.

"I did. But that knowledge still didn't stop me from hating myself for the decision I made that killed a man. It was a long, long time before I eventually realised that although regrettable, I still made the right choice. And I forgave myself. Like you must do too, Marty... if you can."

"But...but what I did..." Marty stammered wildly. "It's so much worse...it's..."

"You must accept your decisions," Sid said wisely. "And forgive yourself, for you are the only one to blame for them."

At that moment an electronic bleep sounded loudly above their heads and automatically the heads of every person sat there lifted to look at the board. Sid's eyes followed their gaze and he paused for a millisecond as he read the number written.

"That's me. That's my number."

Marty's crying immediately ceased and he looked up, mouth open in horror as he realised what this meant.

"No. No. Doc, you can't go. You can't leave me here."

"It's time for me to leave."

Sid turned and paced the corridor in lengthy strides, far quicker than he would have thought he'd been able to, until he reached the two doorways set side by side in the clinical white wall, devoid of anything else. The left one was white, in keeping with the tone and pattern of the corridor and a strong light shone through the crack at the bottom. The door of the right was red and nothing but darkness and black crept from beneath it.

"Doc, you can't go. Please. PLEASE!"

The snivelling wreck of a man had slithered after Sid down the corridor, following and pleading with every step. Sid hadn't turned back once. Marty didn't deserve it. Marty didn't deserve anymore goodness. He had killed and killed and destroyed and wrecked; families, love, friendships and life. Nothing was sacred to that excuse for a man.

"This is where I say goodbye," Sid stated as he turned for one last look at what might have deserved a chance. No. No there was nothing there. Nothing that was worth a chance.

"Mr Hammerback, they are waiting for you," a female attendant said politely as she hurried up with a clipboard, clearly there to check everything was going accordingly. "The door on the left if you will?"

"Goodbye, Marty," Sid said, eyeing the wreck for one last time. "I hope you find peace one day."

"Please, Doc, please..." Marty croaked.

Sid shook his head. "I am not the one to give you the forgiveness you so desperately seek."

And then he turned and opened the door to the left. A blinding white light surged through the corridor as he was swallowed up by it and then he was gone, just as quickly as the light was before the door slammed closed behind him.

"NOOO!" screamed Marty as he scrambled to his feet and flung himself at the doorway intent on following the man who had once been his friend. He immediately fell back as an invisible force barred him from opening the door. The female attendant smiled politely down at him from where she stood with her clipboard.

"I'm sorry Mr Pino. But as you already know your number was chosen for the red door, not the white one."

"No. No!" Marty shook his head desperately. "I won't go through that door. I can't go to that place... not to Hell... not Hell..."

"Then stay here for eternity," the attendant said pleasantly. "Purgatory accepts all for judgement."

"But please... can't I... I just..." Marty feebly raised a hand towards the door Sid had disappeared through.

"I'm afraid Heaven is not your destiny," the attendant said as she turned and started to walk off down the corridor.

Above them a loud electronic beep sounded and once more the heads of every person sat there automatically lifted to look at the board and see what fate awaited the next man waiting for judgement.

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A/N - My prompts were the two characters Sid Hammerback and Marty Pino. Sid had to be Angry/Cross and he had to mention someone he had killed on the job.


End file.
